And Now, A [Retracted] Word From Our Censors

Let me say right out of the gate that I don't believe in censorship in any way, shape or form. Write what you want, read what you want, see whatever movies or TV shows you care to, it makes no difference to me. Jackass 3D? Have at it -- it's your $18. Just don't sit in the splash zone.

You can, however, choose to abstain from whatever you want as well, or to have your children abstain from certain things until they are of sufficient maturity to process them. What age that is exactly depends on the individual child -- or on the laziness of the parents. I remember seeing the ashen face of a 7-year-old boy whose "parents" thought it would be appropriate to take him with them to Martin Scorcese's R-rated The Departed. What's the matter, had the babysitter also been shot in the fucking head that night?

Last week, I had the opportunity to attend an advance screening of Blue Valentine, a film which, until about an hour ago, was rated NC-17. Deadline Hollywood story

A sad, realistic film about a couple freefalling out of love, director Derek Cianfrance spent a dozen years bringing it to the screen. He has done so in a stunning manner, with the fearless collaboration of Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling, two of the most authentic actors working in film today. I am loathe to say much about it in a reviewing style; it is a feeling that you must experience for yourself. One thing I can say is that this film should never have been rated NC-17.

I cannot abide the idea that some shadowy entity can side-step my fellow Americans' First Amendment rights and effectively ban a film. And make no mistake, that is what the kiss of the NC-17 rating will do for a film. NC-17 films are not shown at all by most major theater chains, and some newspapers won't even run ads for them (which is really saying a lot, given the state of newspaper ad revenues).

A bit of backstory: Ratings in the U.S. are determined by a group called the Motion Picture Association of America, MPAA for short. Wikipedia's thorough MPAA article.

A spinoff of the original Hays Code, the MPAA has several problems (apart from its loathsome purpose). One, it's a secret society, with members and criteria cloaked from public view. People who work in secrecy do so with impunity, a scenario that tends to end badly for the rest of us. The second problem with the MPAA as an organization is that it is funded by the major studios, whose films seem to slide through the process like shit through a goose. Independent films from smaller companies often lack  the legal resources to fight a rating. A third problem is that the MPAA seems to have little to no issue with violence and a Victorian hysteria about sexuality, especially female sexuality.

In the Q&A that followed the Blue Valentine screening, Derek Cianfrance identified the scene with which the MPAA took issue. It's a 45-second scene of cunnilingus, with the only nudity being a single bare leg. To Cianfrance, this scene is a "dialogue piece," in that young couples 'dialogue' with each other through sex. It also has a parallel scene later in their relationship, when the woman pushes her now-husband away -- that which was so pleasurable to her earlier, no longer desired.

That's it. Oh, and I believe you see the female character's breasts at one point. No one's 'junk' is visible, just their heartbreak. Put this in contrast to the execrable Love & Other Drugs (rated R & marketed heavily to young adults), in which you repeatedly see Anne Hathaway's breasts and Jake Gyllenhaal's buffed-to-a-shine ass. I would say the nudity in that film is gratuitous, except that without it there really is no other reason for its existence.

Blue Valentine is being released with its fresh-on-appeal R rating by the Weinstein Company on December 31 (bug your local theater about getting it), but another R-rated Weinstein film is already in theaters.

The King's Speech, which lost its appeal, is a genteel film stuck with an R due to a scene in which a speech therapist portrayed by Geoffrey Rush is attempting to shock away the hellacious stutter of the future King George VI (Colin Firth) by having him use profanity. For that, no Americans under the age of 17 can see the film without their mum or da in attendance.

Update: Alas, I wish the following was true, however The King's Speech has retained its R, despite the erroneous report I read earlier this afternoon. Curses, foiled again. [Original, now in error: In an amazing turn of events today, not only was Blue Valentine's NC-17 changed to an R on appeal, but the rating of  The King's Speech has been lowed to PG-13. Pip-pip, cheerio and it's about fucking time.]

Harvey Weinstein really showed some brass balls by making the MPAA appeal for Blue Valentine personally. However, if he had done this literally, instead of figuratively, it would have gotten an NC-17.