Nic Cage Update

So, as a follow-up to my January piece "The Nicolas Cage Enigma," I did go see Drive Angry 3D last week. It's a 100% Donald Kaufman movie, as the title would indicate, kind of a guero version of Machete. It's a very bad hair day on the Nic Cage scale -- the finished product looks like chemically straightened pubes, bleached blond.

Holy crap - what's David Morse doing in this movie?

The "story" is that Nic's character, John Milton, breaks out of Hell to avenge his daughter's death and save his grandbaby. (John Milton, hell -- get it?) A man of few words and mucho violence, he hitches a ride with a lissome waitress with a hot classic car and the upper body strength of a Golden Gloves winner, played by some no-name, generic-porn-looking 'actress.' Milton's being pursued by The Accountant, played by William Finchter, with deliciously arid line readings. The rest of the plot is largely forgettable, but it does hit some gonzo moments:

1) Milton having sex, with his clothes on, while smoking a cigar and shooting people. He may also be drinking Jack Daniels at the same time, but it was too loud to tell.
2) A state trooper honcho showing up to a crime scene wearing the awesome movie spoiler t-shirt (below) instead of a uniform, and
3) An anonymous, naked female (of course) satanic groupie shooting a machine gun in the big final battle. Wouldn't you put some pants on -- or at least some pubes?