Alex Pettyfer, a 20-year-old Brit blonde, is the latest in a long line of young actors that are pushed as being "it." He's kind of like a less hot, less talented version of the fictional Smith Jerrod, Samantha's actor boy-toy on Sex & the City.
Unfortunately for Hollywood, no amount of marketing or shirtless photos can create a true "it," and the disappointing box office of Pettyfer's first big release, last month's lite sci-fi offering I Am Number Four (or as I call it, I Am Number Two, Times Two), has already precipitated a turn away from him -- suddenly, he's "difficult" and the like, none of which would be whispered if the film had been a hit. He's a strictly adequate actor based on his two films currently in release, both of which I was tasked to screen, but when you're pushed as the "it" boy and you're only twenty years old, it's not hard to get ahead of yourself. Just remember, Alex: for every James Dean, there are a hundred Tab Hunters.
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I Am Number Four starred Timothy Olyphant. Ignore the blond kid on the right. |
Now comes little Alex's next film. Beastly is an adaptation of the Y.A. novel of the same name by Alex Flinn -- a modern-day take on Beauty & the Beast. It was supposed to be released last summer, but got bumped to March 4, I suspect so that less-flush CBS Films could tag along on the I Am Number Four publicity push by Disney.
Alex plays a pretty, spoiled rich high school kid named Kyle who picks on a plain girl who turns out to be a witch (oops). Kendra the witch, played by Mary-Kate Olsen (who shops at the Rhiannon Petite Department), puts a curse on Kyle in the form of an ugly whammy. Shorn of his dreamy blond tresses and given a tats-and-boils makeover, Kyle will remain in his “beastly” state for a one year, during which time he must earn the proclaimed love of another, or he will be ugly forever.
Naturally, Kyle’s superficial, newscaster father (Peter Krause from Six Feet Under, sporting an odd pageboy haircut), the tree from which his narcissistic son was borne, can’t accept Kyle in his un-fixable, uglified state and ships him off to live in his very own townhouse in what looks to be Brooklyn-by-way-of-Montreal. Kyle mopes and broods a bit, rides around on a Ducati at night (just like the bland rich kid in Tron: Legacy) and gets home-schooled by Neil Patrick Harris, as an allegedly 'funny and wise' blind tutor.
Through a series of not-terribly-believable plot machinations (they “meet ugly” at a Halloween party that Kyle doesn’t have to buy a costume for), pretty-but-earthy Lindy, played by Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical), ends up bunking with Kyle at his man-pad (separate rooms of course). With the help of his housekeeper, Zola, a Caribbean woman whose “beebies” are still back home [sigh, groan], Kyle learns to be more authentic when putting the moves on Lindy. He builds her a rooftop greenhouse, brings her jujyfruits candy and all the other trappings of true luv.
Naturally, at the last possible moment, Lindy proclaims her love for Kyle and he turns back into the good looking guy from the beginning of the film. Neil Patrick Harris gets his sight back and the maid gets green cards for her beebies. And Kyle sends Kendra to go work as his dad’s new assistant (a small touch of wit in a film otherwise lacking in it).
This movie will appeal mainly to girls around ages 10-12, but disappoint those who are older or on the more mature side. The High School Musical audience has moved on by now (the show’s been off the air for a while), so I’m not sure how much of draw Vanessa Hudgens is (she’s pretty, but not a good actress). The storytelling and acting are quite sub-generic all down the line.
Frankly, one of the other biggest drawbacks is that Beast is not nearly ugly enough in an era where tattoos and shaved heads are more within the norm. Kyle could go hang in the East Village or clubbing in Hollywood and “blend in” without any problem, especially since he’s still rich. People would probably ask for the number of his 'body artist.'
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| Dude! Awesome tats! |
